Confessions of a European Hotelroom

I don't think I'll ever forget this one customer I had once....who had an absolute FIT when he went to his room and saw his double bed....woe is me did I get a tongue lashing...the front desk too!  Before you blow a few steam valves or just get surprised, check these things out.

The bed or should I say double bed.  If you stay at an American branded chain like Marriott or Hilton (more money), you'll typically see queen sized beds...there are even a few kings to be found.  Otherwise, you are looking at two twins pushed together with a crack down the middle.  In fact, you let your hotel know if it's two singles or a couple, and they will pull them apart or push them together.  It's a European thing, so don't fight it and accept it.

Sink in room.  Many of the older style hotel rooms will have a sink in the room rather than in the bathroom.  You'll even find some houses that still have the sink in the bedrooms...it's just different.  So go do your thing in the toilet located in the "water closet" (WC) and then come out and wash your hands or brush your teeth.

Smaller rooms.  Most newer construction has smaller rooms.  Check out the Tune Hotel chain (from the Far East), with their first hotel in London....can you say shoebox?  Let's see if it catches on.

Continental breakfast.  Look, most hotels will not have big American buffets or even English or Irish breakfasts....but if they do, they will advertise it!  I've seen "continental" mean anything from a day old roll w/some butter, jelly and coffee....to nicer spreads with fresh breads & rolls, meats, cheeses, fruits, sausage links and hardboiled eggs.  Some of these hotels you can find on Trip Advisor, so be sure to see what they say....or read the description carefully or just ask.  Most hotels serve something in between what I mentioned.  Always check to see if breakfast is included.  Many times it is not.

What the heck is a bidet?  It sort of looks like a toilet and it IS in the bathroom.  Many Americans think it is for feet washing...and it can be...but really, it for washing your...how should I say....privates....get refreshed without having to take a shower.  Believe it or not, not all Europeans bathe or shower every day...or even use deodorant.  Get used to it and move on and wash yourself in the bidet if you are so inclined.

Porn channels. No, there are no blocks and you might come back to your little ones surfing the porn channels.  You don't get charged til you've been on one for a certain amount of time....so conceivably, your little ones could be very slick and just surf from one porn channel to another.  The Europeans are more "free" with body image and looking at nakedness.  You'll see kids running around naked at the community swimming pool or watering hole...sometimes women topless...even tv shows during prime time and commercials show the occasional winky or boob.  It's just not a big deal over here.

No AC.  Honestly, it's going to be pretty rare to see a hotel with it...although more seem to be getting it.  Even some of the nicer ones don't have it.  Germany is not known for hot summers...but ask any American living overseas, and they'll tell you otherwise!

Elevators.  Not many to be found in the smaller hotels.  It is not unusual to walk up three flights of stairs to get to your room....travel light!  Small hotels will also use every available space, so don't be surprised if you are on the top floor, under the eaves and having to duck down to get to your bed.

No top sheet.  Europeans sleep with duvets.  I use these at home cause I hate tucking in sheets.  Of course Marriott and some of the others will have duvets AND top sheets!

No internet.  More and more hotels are trying to catch up with offering this.  Many who do offer it will only offer it in the lobby...some wifi signals just won't get to the top floors or through some of the thick walls if it's supposedly hotel-wide.  Try to find your hotel on Tripadvisor to find out.

A different level of customer service.  Or maybe I should just say different.... period.  Many times Americans want to call Europeans rude (and don't get me wrong, there are some rude people over here) but being ignored at the desk and not being asked 20x if you need anything or is everything okay is mostly the norm here.

Parking can be an issue.  When I book a hotel, knowing I'm driving there, I always check out their parking situation.  If it's too expensive for our tastes, I'll look elsewhere nearby for public parking.  I do this all online before we go...I calculate it into our room cost, cause who wants a cheap room and then have to pay out the wazoo for parking?  Some of the garages may also have trouble accomondating big American cars, so we usually travel with our second little zip-zip Eurocar.

 Bathroom/toilet down the hall or strangely located.  Check that price for that hotel room.  Some of the smaller hotels and hostels will have one or the other down the hall...to share with other hotel guests.  If you've ever shared a toilet with a guy...and you are a girl...at least for me...that is just NOT going to happen with anyone but my husband.  I recently learned what a "hero dump" was and never want to repeat that experience again!  Please also remember that hostels and B&Bs nowadays sometimes DO have the facilities in the room...read carefully or ask!  What do I mean by strangely located?  We once stayed in this wonderful old villa in Berlin....the landlady had lived there since before the war...the place was full of Persian carpets and beautiful furniture....wonderful high ceilings and a mezzanine...our room....great, except for the one piece shower that was two steps from one side of the bed...it looked so out of place, and I tripped over it more than once on the way to the toilet at night, which was down the hall.

Thankfully, over the years traveling throughout Europe, I've grown my collection of nice hotel rooms, B&Bs and hostels.  But, I am always up for adventure, so always comparison-shop on my two favorite sites, booking.com and hostelworld.com.  I love that they both have honest reviews and that only people who have stayed at those hotels can write up a review.  Don't take one review at face value but try to read a few of them to paint an overall picture.  For the reviews not in English, use Google Translate to get the gist of the message, especially if it's a negative one.

All in all, you are going to experience some amazing hotels and their owners and learn a few tricks and tips along the way.  You may even stay in some dives and dumps and have some great pics to show for it!  If you'd like to share any of your gems with my fellow readers, please post them below!  You know me and funny stories/photos....would love to hear/see those too!

Confessions of a European tourguide, Part II

Europeans have a festival for everything, here the "cows are coming home"!

I've shared some confessions of a European tourguide before.  I can see from the emails I received that I hit a nerve with some....a sense of nostalgia with others.  So, I thought I'd share the second part.  Again, I am sharing these tips in case you should ever take a tour in Europe.  These are obviously my own experiences...yours may be different....take them however you see fit.  Know what to expect before you go!

It is a custom on European buses for the tourguide to pass around a hat or envelope to tip the driver at the end of the trip.  Putting a few Euros or up to 5 euro per person in there is recommended.  I've seen busdrivers bust their butts packing and then hauling hundreds of boxes of Polish pottery (we love our Polish pottery?  Me too!).

Tipping local guides is also customary in Germany at least.  The local guide (not your tourguide) will typically stand by the exit of wherever you are leaving...you can give a euro or two there.  If no one from my group gives, and if I didn't plan ahead and collect from you (also with a hat) before, then I give.  It's a tradition, cause they don't make much money either, sorry....

Yes, bathrooms do cost money in mostly Germany...which is also why they will be superclean and sometimes attended.  They cost anywhere from 1 to 2 euro and many take exact change only.  Even McDonald's charges and Starbucks will give you a code on your receipt if you purchase something.  In Belgium you'll find pay toilets at the entrances of restrooms in trainstations and other public places (airports are still free and relatively clean, thank God)...even Venice and some Italian cities have pay toilets.  The free ones are usually the dirtiest around....stopping in France to use the restroom can be a big shock to anyone!  Those are free along the highway.  Now you know why.

Make sure you take the items you need with you to your bus seat....and put it in the overhead.  I can't tell you the number of times my tourguides have had to dig around underneath the bus because someone forgot their camera or coat down there...oh, it's with my suitcase.  Also, don't overstuff your overhead ledge (it's not a bin)....it'll cut off airflow, so the heat in winter or A/C in summer won't get to you at all.  In the summer, you can even draw the curtains near your seat, so when you get back on, the bus has less to cool.

Bring raingear with you....European weather can be rainy.  We had a tour where half the bus had no raingear (we left in beautiful, warm sunshine).  Some sucked it up, some bought overpriced umbrellas and a few missed the tour because they refused to get off the bus.  Our cute local guide in the local peasant girl's dress had her umbrella and was ready to go.  I'm still sorry that family missed out....because they missed a wonderful tour.

Wear sound walking shoes and dress for changing weather.  I've seen high heeled shoes turn ankles on cobblestone.  I've also seen people sweat in the AM in the high Alps and then freeze their tushes off and miss all the action when the sun started to go down and started casting its cold shadows.

Bring changes of clothes for your children...I'd even recommend bringing one for you.  I am amazed at all the spilled drinks and "accidents" that can happen.  In fact, I used to have extra shirts along, because it happened so often.

Recognize that a child may have never had motion sickness in their life...but will have it on this bus. I try to put those folks in the front (if you tell me).  Always have Dramamine or an equivalent, just in case.  I remember an older German I had once with his 4711 cologne (a German classic that has a fresh lemon scent), give a young child who was getting queasy....a handkerchief full of cologne to inhale (it worked).

Realize that sometimes, we can not always accommodate your regular mealtimes.  Bring snacks, especially for little ones.  Most buses will have drinks for sale at a nominal fee (1,50 to 2 euro)....but feel free to bring your own.  You can always leave your non-valuable items on the bus.  I would never leave anything expensive on the bus...not because we are thieves but because we don't want the responsibility or liability.

It's okay to dress comfortably on that bus...bringing a pillow or blanket is okay too.  You can leave it in your seat.

Singles, you did not pay for two bus seats...just one.  Realize that if the bus is going to be full, I will move you with another single (if you don't do it on your own), so that a family can at least sit together.

Most bus companies will not sell that single seat in the back, so if you are a family of four, you can get extra room in the back...the downside is that you can't recline, it can be louder (bus engine is underneath you) and it can be colder in winter months (my kids don't care...they always head to the back).

The front two pairs of seats are usually reserved for the tourguide, a local guide (when you pick them up), gear...basically for the company's use....please try to sit in the second row.  Yes, there is a jumpseat up front, but we typically do not sell those seats behind the driver....being in an uncomfortable jumpseat can be compared to torture when it is for long hours.  This is why we do this in case you wondered.

Many buses have a sleeping compartment across from the potty door (yes, most buses DO have toilets).  If your tour involves a lot of driving and the math does not support having one driver that whole time (remember breaks and driving time), a second driver must be hired or brought along.  They each use that compartment for sleeping/rest breaks so they can continuously hopfrog drive (this is ideal).  Why don't we do this all the time so we don't have to have all these breaks?  Because then we'd have to charge you more for your tour price.

When we figure out the cost for your tour, yes we do have a profit margin (believe me, it is not as big as you think)...the biggest chunk though will be the cost of your butt in that bus seat.  Premium tour buses are very expensive, especially double deckers which can cost up to 1 million euro each!  Yes, that's euro....so most double deckers are actually leased.  We do get some discounts on group entry tickets to castles and just about anything....but, we are not being exhorbitant in what we charge.  Remember also, we decide the price by figuring the MINIMUM people we will take on that tour....so take more, we get a bigger profit...sometimes we take the risk and take less...and either lose money or magically get the right amount of people to sign up last minute to at least break even!

Speaking of last minute....on some tours, we need minimum numbers of passengers before a certain date.  Many specialty tours, special dinners and other planned activities may have minimum participation.  I've done gourmet cooking classes and taken people bobsledding with Olympic caliber bobsledders as well as taken  a large group to the 65th Anniversary in Normandy, France to hear President Obama and other European leaders speak.  Many of those types of tours require lots of early planning and commitment by us.  That is why we encourage you to sign up early....it helps us, and it helps keep costs down if we know we will hit the right numbers more often than not.

Watch the alcohol!  European beer has a much higher alcohol content than American beer, and if you forget this...you will pay both that day and the next day for that mistake...and then some!  Moderation is key! 

And those are my top tips.  I have some thoughts on European hotel rooms as well...but will save those for another time.  Suffice it to say that European hotel rooms are not American hotel rooms and learning to recognize the differences can put you that much ahead on your travels.  Well, it's off to the dog and pony show...literally, at our local expo center.  Hope I don't have to touch any goats...

Confessions of a European tourguide, Part I

a tourguide in traditional garb

I've mentioned before that I used to plan tours for a company that provided tours all over Europe, mostly for Americans.  In those two years, I learned a lot about the European tour industry I'd like to share.  Knowledge is power and maybe by going through these comments, you can better understand why your tour is the way it is...or why it isn't....or even head off any tour disaster before it happens.

• Tourguides don't get paid SQUAT....period....we all do it for the love of travel!  I managed about 30 tourguides and ALL of them did it because they loved it and also wanted to show others what they loved.
• Going back to the first point, this is why many tourguides get kickbacks from the stores they take you to.  They'll either get a percentage of what you all buy, a set amount of money or goods to take home for free.  This is all done very discreetly of course.  Don't begrudge them this, and if you don't want to buy, then don't feel obligated.  It's just a nice perk in our job.
• Please pay attention when the tourguide gives you your marching orders on what is going on.  Many tourists just do not want to take any responsibility for themselves or their children.  I know it's not you I'm talking about....but just keep in mind, you are an ambassador of sorts for all Americans.  You're going to make it or break it for the rest of us.  Be pleasant and follow directions.  I also played tourguide and not just tour manager myself, and I could write a book on what happened along the way.  I've searched for a few lost children, a lost adult who had passed out under a hotelbed, talked a drunk guest off the roof of a 10 story hotel, questioned busriders on a disappearing camera when it was just us on board, and I once had to bail one of my charges out of a Spanish jaill!  That is just the tip of the iceberg of course.  Please give us a break and enjoy the tour, making it pleasant for everyone.
• Please don't tell the busdriver to go faster or to skip a break.  Believe it or not, each busdriver has a little disc thing that goes into the dash of the bus.  This measures their speed, time driven and a few other bits of data.  European rules are VERY strict as to how many hours a driver spends non-stop driving, when his breaks are, etc.  They regularly have to show their "books".  The fines are so hefty for not following the rules, no bus company will risk it.  I'd like to go faster too....not gonna happen.
• When the tourguide directs you to a potty break....please go ahead and relish in it.  Get it done even if you don't have to go.  We are always amazed when we need to interrupt a walking tour, because someone has to tinkle (emergencies are okay obviously).
• When the bus toilet is full, it is full.  The owner of the bus company I worked with used to joke that only Americans can fill up his bus toilets as fast as they do.  This can be a real problem for those longer express (overnight on the bus) trips.....no toilet emptying is scheduled as it is too time consuming and expensive.  Why do they get full so fast?  Because we drink a lot more than Europeans do throughout the day.  That is why we expect you to get off the bus when we do take a break for the driver....use the opportunity...don't be lazy and sleep thru the stop or use the bus bathroom because you don't want to walk the 50 feet to the reststop or restaurant.  I saw it all the time and always tried to be nice as pie in coercing folks off that bus.
• Which brings us to the next point.  The bus driver should not be leaving the bus unlocked.  When we stop for a rest stop, please vacate the bus, so the driver can also take a break (they like to smoke rather than anything else it seems) and then lock up.

Stay tuned for Part II...I have many more tips on the subject of course.  I can honestly say that European tourist bureaus, mom and pop operations, restaurants, venues and such....are more than helpful and really do want to show their visitors why you should come back for a return visit.  So, let me plug the tourist bureaus before I end this.  I always visit the tourist bureau website before my own personal travel.  Many will send kits, brochures, catalogs and free stuff or just answer any questions you may have.  I have never seen a more friendly and accommodating industry, at least here in Europe.  I've had people all over, bend over backwards to help make our tours a success!  One of these days I'll have to mention my favorites......there is just so much to see and experience in Europe beyond our beautiful cities and festivals!

Do you have any tour stories to share?

From the Inside...of the Mind of an Airline Gate Agent

I've actually worked for an airline, but in reservations, so no face-to-face contact with customers. I often wondered what the customer service reps, aka the gate agents, have to say about us. If I asked one of them for advice or their commentary, what would they say? In light of that thought, I wondered about some other jobs where people regularly deal with the public....what do they think? Wouldn't that be an interesting blog topic? So, I went right out and cornered a gate agent. Okay, so I knew this person, and it wasn't so hard to get them to sing. But here is what they had to say in no particular order of importance.

• Don't tell us you just got married or are newlyweds-- you're not getting a free upgrade and BTW by looking at your I.D. it's also not your birthday. You'd be surprised what people lie about...I mean say.

• Don't yell. It'll get you nowhere-- besides you just look pathetic when you do that. Have you ever looked around at the other folks when you do this?
  

• Don't try to be a "charmer". We can see you coming a mile away and everything has been tried before.

• Don't give a long-winded story. We've heard that all before too-- get to the point of the problem. The sooner you do, the sooner it can be fixed.

• Don't be argumentative. This isn't the debate club-- there ARE rules NOT meant to be broken.

• Don't take it personal, but someone has to sit in the middle seat. Besides, be happy you actually have a seat as harsh as that may sound. Airlines routinely overbook, because they are losing money hand over fist these days.
  

• Don't incessantly ask to sit in/check out the cockpit (BTW, the proper term is flight deck), especially if you've been drinking or make a joke thereof, unless you wish to be politely escorted off the plane-- and don't refuse unless you'd rather the police come get you instead. This happens more times than you think.
  

• I know the plane is still "sitting" there and no we can't "just" put the jetbridge back up. This isn't a bus stop where we can just open the door and let you on. Besides, even mass transit has a schedule to keep as do the other passengers on the plane.

• Don't get wasted. This isn't a club-- the more sober the better, the less likely you'll catch the ire of a crew member or gate agent and a one way ticket right back off the plane.

• If we say it's ATC or weather, we mean it's ATC or weather and yes it may be sunny and palm tress here, but tell that to the crew and passengers (who coincidently will be your next crew and plane) delayed in a blizzard on the other side of the continent who'd rather be where it's sunny and palm trees.

• If we say it's a mechanical, we mean it's a mechanical. We either A. fix it, B. find another plane that's hopefully not broken, C. cancel and consolidate, or D. all of the above. We don't mean to inconvenience you but have you ever waited for your car to be fixed? Multiply that by 10. And no, there are typically no extra planes back at the motor pool.
  

• If we say the crew went "illegal" we don't mean they just broke the law. We do mean they have exceeded their federally mandated duty hours/flight time-- most likely still stuck on the other side of the continent who will not be where it's sunny and palm trees.

• If you packed it, you lift it. Keep that in mind when you decide to bring along the kitchen sink. Yes, we HAVE seen kitchen sinks.
  

• We can get you help, but maybe not the way you wanted. Regardless of what Oprah said, if you have medication in your checked luggage and it's an emergency, paramedics will be called right away and your luggage will be waiting for you at your final destination.

• The quicker you store your bags (& preferably bag singular) and take a seat, the quicker everyone can leave on-time. BTW be considerate of others (if it doesn't fit it doesn't fit) the sooner you gate check it, the sooner we can go.

• When we say put away your reading materials, this isn't your cue to catch up on the Wall Street Journal. You'll have plenty of time to do that on a "wheels up" time way past your scheduled departure time. We know you've flown before. We just don't want you to pull a "George Costanza"-- you're in the exit row to assist others in an emergency including women and children first, not for the leg room right?

• Don't stand in the customer service line when things start going South. The longer you wait, the more likely you'll miss another flight. Go directly to the next departure gate. But don't pester the agent-- it won't get you a seat any faster, actually the opposite. Dutifully wait in line will you try to get through to the 1-800# for customer service and reservations. Always have this number with you when you travel.
  

• When you ask for a supervisor, be patient. Keep in mind, there are other duties and others who also ask for a supervisor no matter how serious or mundane it may be-- and once you do see him or her don't ask to see their supervisor, it's counterproductive and wastes time.
  

• No you are not free to move about the cabin. Post 9/11, just stay in your seat with your seatbelt on. Should the plane hit some rogue turbulence, you'll also be much safer.
  

• When all else fails, be a normal human being. It goes a long way. Relax and take it in stride. Expect the unexpected and don't lose your mind walking through the airport sliding doors. Maybe you'll get that upgrade after all... paid for of course.

Being a gate agent obviously isn't an easy job. That is why one of the perks...er, bone..... the airlines throw at you is the travel benefits. Travel the world on peanuts since you can't afford to any other way! Do you have any gate agent stories to share?