Bye, Bye Blogger....

Like an old boyfriend, I am discarding you, sorry!  You couldn't give me what I needed, so I think it's best we part ways.  I don't want to "try to be friends" nor do I want to "stay in touch"....clean break, okay?  And to my readers, if things go wrong...you know where to find me on Facebook to let me know the errors of my ways (cause you know that's how I learn)!

I thought I would post a warning here first.  I'm not smart enough to investigate how to transfer over any subscriptions or RSS feeds and am sorry to say that if you are still interested in hearing what I have to say (or do), please rejoin me at the new site which you should be redirected to in the next few days as I plod my way through this with a little apprehension and the wringing of the hands.

This is LLMW signing out for the last time on Blogger...it was wonderful while it lasted and thank you for all the good memories, because there really were some!  Wordpress, looking forward to our first date and a hopefully lasting relationship where we can both learn and grow together...not necessarily in that order.

Have you joined me on Facebook yet?

In front of Linderhof Schloss yesterday.

Hello all....well, I've discarded yet another new blog design.  My father keeps telling me to take the time now to make sure it's exactly what I want...but of course I want things....NOW...or yesterday.  You know how it goes.  So, in the meantime, while I dicker around with something I don't know much about and drive myself more into some kind of newfound frustration when I should be on vacation...and now Oh Lord, I'm rhyming...never a good sign....I'll have to leave you with something in the interim!  I wanted to ask if you are on Facebook?

I know there may be a few of you (like I used to be) resistant to even be on Facebook.  Others may not have ventured that way.  In the interest of continuing what we talk about here...and discuss...we have some tips being bantered back and forth on the Life Lessons of a Military Wife Facebook page.  How much should you be tipping in Germany?  Especially hairdressers?  How about using those VAT forms to get huge discounts on your lodging, not just on your travels later but also after your fresh arrival in Germany.  It's extra money in your pocket!  A friend is also having trouble registering her car now that she's stateside...find out an easy way to avoid this on the Facebook page.

And the best part?  Is in the bottom left, you should see all the other great military spouse, travel and other interesting Facebook Groups I have subscribed to.  There are some really great support groups and groups that can help you with any question you may have under the sun.  There are even pages supported by the different military support elements as well, so get an official answer without messing with email and putting your personal information out there.  Even the military paycheck people, DFAS, have a Facebook page.

Anyway, thought I would throw that out there!  We are still "vacationing" down in Bavaria with an internet connection that is more fickle than I ever was when I was younger....yes, it's that bad...and frustrating!  I'm working on a map of fun things to do in the Garmisch/Oberammergau area..not the typical stuff that the Edelweiss giftshop/tour people recommend but other stuff too...I'll let you know when that's online.  The kids are determined to swim in every Alpine Lake in the area...me, typical mom holds her breath as they dive down and don't appear for awhile...some of these lakes are DEEP and murky.  Many do have nice beaches and docks, along with cafes and restaurants....entry to the swimming area for nominal fees, so it's not like you are totally out there in the wilderness!  There are also plenty of hiking and biking trails radiating out in all directions...something for everyone!

I hope everyone is able to take some time off this summer and is enjoying family time as well!  See you next week when I have a better connection online and look for me to hopefully say something useful next week over at Military Moms Talk Radio!

Settling in to our Bavarian Cottage this 4th of July

Finally made it...two hours after we intented due to numerous detours around mountains and also a lake to get to our destination in Bavaria.  I think every Bavarian town in our direction was having a fest or parade as we tried to make our way down here.  After a full night's rest, we are enjoying the brilliant sunshine and getting used to the slight slant in the floor of our cottage.  It's funny how your brain tells you one thing, and your feet are acting like they are DRUNK!  But it is also funny how your brain compensates or overcompensates and makes your brain think right side up again in spite of what you are seeing.  I even stopped putting things on the window ledge in the kitchen, knowing that they will roll right off of there!

Coming back to Germany, the place of my birth...and the place we lived before moving to Belgium...I feel like I came home.  After our big Bavarian meal of schnitzels, dumplings, Schweinehaxen (pigs' knuckles) and veal cutlets with mushrooms in a creamy sauce, we think we all died and went somewhere otherwordly last night!  The food is that good!  It's even cheaper than eating out in Belgium, with hefty portions...but alas, we obviously can't do this every day, cause for a family of four, you're still going to pay about 65 euros for a meal (gulp, about $95) and have to grow another stomach to accomodate the big loads going in!

Before we made it down here though, a wonderful friend of mine offered up her home to us in Stuttgart, to kind of break up the drive...it's about six hours driving comfortably and taking into account a few German staus (gridlock) on the autobahns, we made it the second day...boy, had I forgotten that little deal about driving in Germany...the staus!!!  Big tip here, if you are driving for a longer distance on any of the autobahns, please check the German school calendar for your region of Germany...it is almost impossible to get anywhere on the autobahn when those periods start and end, so be mindful of those dates...also the big German holidays too are listed on that site too (unfortunately, that's the only part in English right now).

Anyway, so we spent a day of being nostalgic and driving by and checking out all our old haunts in Stuttgart.  As we walked into the building where I used to work, my younger son said, "yep, it smells the same".  The commissary on Patch looks exactly the same...a bit rundown as always...the big talked about foodcourt on Patch is still non-existent, although they say it is planned to open in July (isn't that...now?) after many construction delays.  Over on Panzer, we noticed that the foodcourt there has been spiffed up a bit, and in addition to Charley's Steakhouse, Popeye's, Anthony's Pizza and Sehne Bakery, they have added a Burger King.  Most of the small mall shops (there are only a handful) are still the same, although it looks like there is some kind of t-shirt or clothing shop that wasn't there before at the PX entrance.  The PX has revamped its image a bit, and I love that they expanded the electronics and book sections, although the clothes still look like the same tired old fashion they had before....we'll take the change in small bites though, right?

So, not much else on the agenda at the moment.  We'll do a little sightseeing but mostly relaxing and enjoying the mountain air...maybe do some hiking...one of the two gorges in the area, we have not ever hiked.  The kids are glad we brought the cat, and I can already see where he has picked out his spot, right by the window where he can see that bird's nest and the fountain out back.  He seems to have no problems with the lean at all.

I just saw the new banner for my blog re-design and am so happy with it!  I did tell the designer (okay, so she is my stepmom, but she does do this professionally) to flesh out my cartoon character a bit, cause right now, if I were to turn sideways, I would disappear.  I am NOT that skinny, and I need to have some reality going on here!  If any of you have ever migrated a blog from blogger to a wordpress platform and a new site, I would love to hear what your biggest trip up was..and NO, not to laugh at you but to LEARN from you! I am a bit worried when it will come to migrating the old posts...isn't it funny how attached we get to stuff that isn't even real?!!

As I sit here thinking about the 4th of July and what it means, I am a bit sad...I read an article yesterday about this lady.  And it made me sad.....although she seems to have a great support network, no one knows the outright terror and worry that she goes through on a daily basis.  Sometimes the fear of the unknown can be worse than any known fear.  Haven't you noticed that before?...so she will sit...and wait....and keep herself busy, cause that is what you do so you don't dwell on things.  If you are currently going through a deployment and need some encouragement, please make sure you read this.

I know my military readers will think about their loved ones in harm's way this 4th of July, just because their communities are so deeply immersed in the thick of this deployment stuff.  If you are civilian, I appreciate you coming by this blog and hopefully others and thinking of a deeper meaning of today too.  I am thinking too of all the friends we currently have in harm's way and will pray for their safety today and also pray today that they get a good taste of Americana....whether it is an American flag gently flying in the breeze...a slew of sparklers being lit tonight and reminding them of their childhood back in the USA...or perhaps a hearty slice of American apple pie with ice cream.  I don't know...I don't know what they will all do downrange today, but I will be thinking of them more than myself today...I'm going to make a point of it...and will send some positive email downrange to let them know I am thinking of them on this special day.  If you've got the time, please do the same.  Yes, it's great to celebrate with family and friends, and I personally have some awesome 4th of July BBQ and fun memories, but let's remember why we are even able to freely celebrate as we do.

Well, let me get going.  I thought I'd run to the bakery down the street to give everyone a choice of fresh rolls and pastries this morning.  Mind you, this will not happen every morning...although many German families do their bakery shopping EVERY morning...this family does not (again, thinking of the money and weight factors).....and then we'll see what else the day will bring.  What will you be doing today?

Gonna be out of commission for about a week

No, just wanted to reassure you that I am not dead and that I did not forget how to use the internet or write.  I have been exploring options on how to make this blog better....whole new design, location...everything under the sun.  That takes time.  I don't have time at the moment to do that AND write....so I have taken a short break from writing.  Please forgive me....

Be sure to check some of my favorite bloggers and what they are up to on the bottom left of this page.  It seems like a lot of folks have been starting their summer travels, so I am excited to hear what everyone is up to!

I will see you soon with more content, more thoughts on living overseas....got some stuff in the works that I hope you will find interesting!  Ciao for now (oh crap, it's a rhyme)!

Guest Post: Top Tips from another veteran military spouse

Military spouses = stone wall (mutual support)

Many of you already know my good friend Susanna who runs Military Duty Stations.  It is a wonderful site that she has put together, detailing information on just about every military post you can think of, including some obscure ones you may have never heard of.  How does she do it all?  She doesn't....she gets her visitors to write in entries, and I think it's awesome that so many contribute...BUT she is always looking for new and fresh information, so please take the time to go help and leave your comment on your current duty station, no matter how small.  We can't expect Susanna to do it all alone, and I think we can all benefit from her awesome work!

And without further delay, Susanna would like to share some of her veteran military spouse tips, as she has been on this bus herself while.

When you are a part of the military life there will be plenty of moments when you are alone or lonely. You will have to deal with the situation, hopefully without becoming bitter but finding new ways to live through it. Attitude is half the battle. Here are a few suggestions.

Planning
Forget planning anything. If you decide to plan then make sure that you realize your spouse might or might not be available for the event. Trying to find a date for our wedding was fairly challenging and one of the first lessons for me to learn.

Become independent
Yes, the military brings us spouses up to be Type A, go-getters. Sometimes this seems to backfire on them. Seriously, we are married but we have to know what to do and how to do it without having our spouse there. I remember that I have taken myself to surgery or childbirth before. Unfortunately, this tough exterior comes with a price as I have noticed to have little patience with some civilian wives. I am very sure that most of you know what I am talking about.

Holidays, birthdays, important dates
As mentioned before, planning is an issue when you live a military life. It is even more devastating when your loved one is missing an important event in your life. I believe that in my 18 years of marriage my husband missed...I guess half. However, I am not complaining, as I know that there are ladies out there who have a much lower percentage of their husbands being available.  Holidays have taken on a different dimension. While birthdays and Christmas are still very important, things have changed. Christmas is when we can celebrate it as a family and not necessarily as a date. Birthdays...well, you do the best you can. It will be helpful to look at these dates differently.

Don't buy into the drama
Drama, there is a lot of it. Not sure why. Is it because most of us spouses are female and drama like that might be a female trait?  Is it an outlet for spouses? I am not sure.  Seems that sometimes the drama comes from hurt feelings. Sometimes it's a part of old baggage, when things only seemed right when there was a lot of upheaval in life. I do believe though that we, I , have to do the right thing. I want to grow, do it better. I want to accept others' opinion, even if I don't agree with it. I don't want to be hateful, but put good vibes and some love out in this world in hopes that this goodwill spreads. You try it, it will make a lot of things easier.

Finding new ways of finding together
After frequent or long-term separations it will become important to discover new ways to find your way back together.  Don't be too hard on yourself.....but know that you are stronger than you think. If your gut tells you one thing there is a chance you are right and you need to go with your gut until the situation is resolved. Don't take NO for an answer until you are satisfied. Disclaimer: You might step  on a few toes.

Seek support, support others!

Don't try and fight a situation by yourself. Find and join a support network, help if you can.

Thanks Susanna for those inspiring words.  It sure gives us something all to think about whether we've been in military life for 30 days or 30 years!  Thanks for your words of wisdom!

There is a reason for everything really...

Visiting my mom on Mother's Day at Arlington National Cemetery

Funny...someone messaged me the other day and asked how in the world do I get anything done with all the traveling (and writing)....another person said I must have too much time on my hands....honestly, I took a little of a beating on xpats.com Q&A.  I'm still not sure why.  I didn't let it bother me (okay, well not completely), whereas before, when I was younger, I might have been really hurt by some of the comments, I decided to take the time to ponder why things are the way they are.

So....I thought I would explain myself since I hadn't really thought about what I'm going to talk about today.  I guess I had to sit and think about it and even pin it down for myself....why do I go to bed late, or get up two hours early to write on my blog?  Why do I leave my computer on when I am home, knowing that electricity is more expensive over here, and make comments throughout the day on my Facebook page?  Why do I feel the need to answer emails and questions?  Why have I bothered doing videos and podcasts when I could be thoroughly enjoying myself for being me?

I'll tell you why.  I know the answer....or at least I think I do. It's because I come from a family with a strong sense of service and honestly believe it is better to give than to receive.  I also believe you should leave a place better than you found it...I used to do that as a Girl Scout, and you can bet the rental homes (and military housing) we lived in were in much better condition on our way out than in.  You might even catch me picking up an errant piece of garbage or whatever as I walk from my car to wherever I'm going.

My first memories are of my mom, bless her heart and her soul as she is no longer with us.  I think I was 5 years old, seeing her walk around in a volunteer Red Cross uniform.  Back then, the volunteers wore neat and pressed uniforms before they went out about their business of helping others. I remember the little boy who lived across the street in our onpost stairwell in Germany......before our posts had fences around the housing areas, kids ran freely, maybe too much so.  He got hit by a speeding German car and my mom dropped everything to go with them to the hospital and then spent DAYS at that mother and father's side.  She spoke fluent German and never thought to do anything different.  My brother and I spent those many days being shuttled back and forth between neighbors....my brother wasn't even a year old yet, but me...the five year old was tasked with his feeding, changing and watching over.  Later, growing up, I remember my friends being absolutely terrified of my mom through the years.  She could be very abrupt and honest...and it scared them...hey, it's the German way....but after they got to know her, it was my mother they called when they needed someone to help them or even to talk to, and she never told anyone the no-word.

I grew up with stories of my German grandmother hiding people and their things during the war.  Even today, a grateful family, who were perfect strangers to our family at the time, stay in touch with me....two generations removed...their children STILL grateful for my grandmother's kindness.  My American great-grandfather, the son of a slave, after the move to Chicago, used to make almost daily trips to the train station to see if anyone got off from his hometown in Mississippi.  He was determined that no one coming from down South would be out on the streets, when they first arrived to the big city.  It didn't matter that he worked long shifts and was bone tired by the time he got there.  My dad remembers sharing a bed with two, three and four others, just so everyone would have a warm place to sleep at night.  My husband can share similar stories of his own family, and we hope our kids will take note too.  I think that is what drew me to him initially.  This is just the kind of  environment I grew up in and feel comfortable with.

I am not an expert in everything...in fact, I'm a dabbler in everything...knowing a little bit of this and that is a lot but not everything....yes, it can make me dangerous sometimes but usually, my common sense will stop me before I wreck anything or anyone.  I take after my father on this one.  He of course walks around with two or three books at a time and can be found almost always waiting in line everywhere he goes with a book open.  Just because I like to give advice and get comfort and a sense of satisfaction in helping others, it does not mean that I don't appreciate the same.  I would love someone to guestpost on a subject.  I freely take advice as well.  I am so grateful that many of you post your wonderful tips and stories here in the comments and my Facebook and Twitter pages....love that, and please don't stop doing it!  All of our shared experiences can make us better people on the inside and the outside...

I don't travel every weekend with cameras and Flip in tow...honestly, no.  And I don't even write about all of our travels, just some of them.  I am also just as happy spending a lazy weekend at home.  What do I do?  We do things locally.  I shop at the PX and eat at the food court.  Many weekends I am on the couch watching a movie marathon, cuddled under a blanket with our cat.  Or maybe we are taking a bike ride along the canal or taking a walk or local volksmarch...just like anyone else.  I wish I was craftier...then I might be working on projects or photo albums or something interesting rather than cleaning the house...would LOVE to know how to make jewelry, as an example...but that gene has left me by the wayside.  I am thankful I have two coworkers who are so creative, I get to tag along with their great ideas and help with the actual grunt work...so for now, that is good enough for me, to broaden my horizons.  Cooking can be fun too, right?  That is evidenced by all the recipes I have bookmarked, and do you know that if I find a really good recipe or someone gives me one...I will write it in an email, email it to MYSELF and then put it in a recipe folder in my email account.  I guess that's kind of weird, and I should've probably left that bit of information out....too much over the top?  Maybe.

And with that, before I get way too sappy or get myself worked up, I will end here.  Feel free to comment as you see fit....or not.  I just want to say thank-you to my blog readers and those who stop by for a visit.  I know a few of you have been with me and grown with me since the very beginning....you know who you are!  I have made some amazing friendships through this blog, rekindled some old ones....and just gotten to know a great group of folks....I think 'nuff said there.  Oh, one more thing before you wonder......no, he did not make it, and I still sometimes think where that boy would be today.

The Gathering in the Driveway

I just talked with a friend of mine who moved into a suburban civilian community in the US.  It reminds me of how long I have been out of the country.  It also reminds me of what I did, when I moved into my last US suburb....as I sat and listened to her talking about her non-friendly neighbors.  This is what I told her to do and what worked for us.

Since we had nice weather when we moved....thanks to those summer rotation cycles...within weeks of unpacking my boxes....I made up a little flyer and got my little secret squirrel plan up and running.

The flyer was really simple.

I picked a Sunday afternoon and invited everyone to my driveway.  I told them to bring their chairs and a dish to share.  I told them a grill would be on-hand, and that I would provide the flatware, plates, napkins and jugs of lemonade and water.

Since I put the flyers out a week before, in everyone's screendoor, I kept my fingers crossed and waited.  I didn't put a phone number on the flyer...just an address.

Sunday morning came...we started dragging out our tables, and some chairs, set up a canopy for some shade, got the tunes going, poured us some drinks....and waited.  We didn't wait long....one by one, the neighbors came....a few stopped as they were driving back from wherever they had been (after seeing people sitting around) and said they'd be right back.  Pretty soon we had about 60 people laughing and eating in our driveway and kids running around on the front lawn.  We even had people who had been neighbors for years, and this was the first social event, other than HOA-business, that they attended together.

It was such a success, that we did it all summer long and continued it into the next summer.  I sure miss them and these lawn parties....later, especially for Halloween, we graduated to movies being projected onto the garage door and a few backyard events.  I honestly think it takes one spark to get something started, and a low-stress party such as this...in the front, where everyone can see, is the best way to get things going.  It was great!

I'm hoping my friend will give it a try.  Is there anything you do in your neighborhood to bring neighbors together?

The proof is in the vinegar

Did you catch that UGLY photo?  That is a photo of the sink faucet in our master bathroom in our rental home here in Belgium.  The water that tries to force itself out of there is the same water we put into our mouth when we brush our teeth and wash our faces.  Many of you know our water is HARD here in Europe...well, here in Belgium, you can almost chip the stuff, like taking an icepick to a piece of ice!  Even your glass of water will have these calcium "floaters" in there.  How do you get rid of THAT on any surface in your house without scrubbing or using harsh chemicals?  Read on for the easy 2-step method and also a photo of my faucet...during and after getting "treated"!

First things first, vinegar basically EATS calcium and mineral deposits.  Since vinegar will evaporate and become ineffective, when I treat showerheads and faucets, I get a papertowel sopping wet with vinegar.  Wrap the offending piece in the papertowel.  Then wrap that papertowel with plastic wrap, being careful to cover all openings so the vinegar doesn't evaporate.  Let it soak and do it's thing for about 24 hours.

After 24 hours is up, unwrap and just wipe with a rough sponge or a toothbrush (not yours or DH's either).  All the calcium will come off, and you'll actually SEE the faucet itself, and look, I can see the aerator even!  For messy showerheads, I have also used Ziploc baggies filled with vinegar and then tied them off with tape.  No need to take the showerheads down to soak them in vinegar...don't do an extra step that you really don't need to do!

Now I know at least one of you is going to say, ewwwww....your faucet still has rust on it....well, yeah...now that I can see the thing...it DOES have rust!  I didn't get a chance to see that before, okay.  We do have a lot of iron coming out of the faucet too (can you tell I don't drink faucet water directly here?)....hence, the rust.  Of course you can get rust off with an acidic based rust cleaner, or to scour it off...but the only way to keep it off completely is to keep that area dry (not gonna happen here) or rub it with oil (also not gonna happen)....so, I'll monitor it, and if it gets too much out of control, I'll splurge and get a new faucethead.  Can you tell I am cheaper than cheap?





Oh, and FYI, while we are talking about vinegar...you can use it to clean and disinfect just about anything, but please do not use it on your tile floors.  Yes, it works great on the tile part, but over time, it'll eat through your grout!

How's the water where you are?  Do you have rust or hard water problems?  Do YOU drink out of the faucet where you are?

Opa-isms

My Opa

Do you remember back when you were a child and your grandma or grandpa used to have these sayings?  That they repeated over and over again to you?  So much so, that you find yourself able to repeat them from memory many years later?  My German opa used to have his theories and sayings, and in light of his birthday coming up, where he would've been 100, I thought I'd share some of them.  I think some of them are even true!

My favorites:

• Whenever someone in my family talked about traveling, he would ALWAYS say, "why would you want to go there?  The houses there stand next to each other just like they do here!"  I guess in a way he was correct.  People are people wherever you go, and even though things may look a little bit different, you'd be surprised at how much things can be the same.  I took this to mean that I should also take the time to enjoy my home, wherever that was at the time, and now I take the time to really find the hidden gems in my local area instead of always longing to go somewhere else.
• Always make sure your gas tank is half full.  You'll never, ever run out of gas.....how true!  I don't think I've ever run out of gas in my life.
• Don't drink cold stuff.  My opa used to heat up a pot of water and dunk his beer bottle into a warm water bath before drinking it.  He never drank anything cold in his life!  He always thought that all the stomach cancers and abundance of stomach problems of Americans were caused by cold drinks and ice, taking off the mucous layers in your digestive system, damaging it he used to say.  I have personally found no medical evidence of this....but you know, it does make sense.  I'll let you draw your own conclusion on this.  I guess this may explain why Europeans are not so fond of ice cubes and really cold drinks and have less instances of stomach issues and cancers?  Maybe?
• Drafts coming in windows can make you sick, and if you have wet hair, you'll get really sick.  I still remember driving around Germany in the summertime....with ALL the windows closed! This was before cars had air conditioning in Germany!  I can't believe I survived that without dying of heat stroke....either I was much hardier back then or Germany was not so hot in the summer before global warming turned European weather upside-down.
• Even though opa made the comment about traveling, it didn't stop him from being one of the first Germans to board a commercial flight to Italy, and just in time for his honeymoon in the era before WWII.  He was also the first man in his village to have a car after the war.  How did he do that when everyone else was broke?  He was always a master of wheeling and dealing.  He taught me (and mostly my mother) to always look two steps ahead in any business deal.  For example, he saw that after the war, everyone wanted...err...needed chocolate.  He saw the Jewish businessmen who were left in his part of Germany (with help from the Allies), had the supplies, so he struck a deal with them as a whole.  He knew they wanted tea, so he figured out how to collect and package it....sold it to them (because no one else was, and darn they wanted that tea)...bought the chocolate from them...and sold the chocolate at prices-to-make-a-profit to the average German.  The profits were so tidy over the long-run, that he was able to buy the first car in his little village after the war, and a Mercedes at that (he only mentioned later that the thing didn't have a floor...kind of like the Flinstones I'm thinking).  He got his business going again while everyone else was out of work and still scratching their heads!  His "two steps ahead" thinking also saved him from being killed on the Eastern Front....almost his entire unit was decimated, and he survived.  Obviously I'm not anywhere near that good in trying to always look ahead, but I like to think I at least TRY to do this myself in day-to-day life and make him a little bit proud!

Opa, I miss you and your humor too!  I miss how you used to reach up behind the doorframe and "find" a gumball for me.  My opa ran a candy &  liquor wholesaler (in other words, a little kid's dream), and my childhood visiting my grandparents was spent crawling up and down the big wooden shelves in the warehouse filled to capacity with cookies, candy, chocolate, coffee...and hard liquor, huh?  I guess the hard liquor was the "grown up candy" and used to sell REALLY well, hence the later addition of that.  I used to love feeling like a grown-up when you took me on your rounds, delivering and selling your wares to the local stores and restaurants....in the years before the superstore.   And every year, you made such a big deal of taking me to the fancy shoestore to get my new shoes....unfortunately, they were always the brown clunker Salamander brand and nothing fancy, but you made me feel special anyway in the process, as I was the center of attention (every child's second dream).

I miss you Opa and happy birthday!  I know you and Oma are looking down and watching over us this holiday season, and thank-you for all the wonderful opa-isms which I am now teaching my children!

Never say, "I'm Bored".....

I used to entertain myself with a rock when I was little....and I'm not that old either.  Remember back in the 1970s and 1980s when we were kids (if applicable) when we played with whatever we could find and stayed out for hours running around in the neighborhood?  Then came Atari's Pong, and I still remember the delight in my eyes as my best friend and eye pinged and ponged back and forth on her black and white TV screen.  I think that was the beginning of the end in a way.  And now my kids tell me they're bored.....so here's what I told them (and myself).

I can honestly not remember myself being bored as a child....okay maybe as a teenager but not before.  So I asked myself why?  And why is it my kids were frequently plopping down wherever, releasing a big sigh...and here it comes out of their mouth....."I'm bored".  Why?  This is what I came up with...

Because we overschedule our kids so much these days with a few sports, music lessons, church groups, pottery class and everything in between.

Kids have all these activities handed to them on a platter that they never have to come up with anything on their own.

Here we are thinking we are encouraging creativity by all these wonderful things, when we are in fact hindering it to an extent.

We continue to feed this barrage of "instant activity" to our kids every year, like clockwork, all through their formative years.

 So what's my new strategy these days?

I say, "Good, be bored" and walk away and back to whatever I was doing.  Do this enough times, and they will stop saying "I'm bored" to you.

Another alternative, is to give them a chore to do whenever they say they're bored.  "Wonderful son, you asked just in time!  Please carry this laundry basket upstairs for me!"  After a few iterations of this, see how quickly can then find some activity on their own that will keep them entertained.

I also like to tell stories of what I did when I was little...the kids actually ask for this stuff at bedtime.  I am hoping that gives them ideas that will eventually blossom on their own.  That was confirmed last week when my 11 year old built a fortress for his Army men in the garden...made out of readily-available chestnuts and mud....cool.

Try it sometime (actually, more than once...you need to make it repetitive and habit-forming) and see what happens.  Decide to drop at least one activity this year.  You'll also be amazed at the positive change in your child.  Please don't post below, and tell me what a genius your kid is now because you have developed their left or right brain....I am not saying to NOT expose them to different activities or opportunities....as with anything else, I am saying that life needs to be balanced.

Do you have any thoughts on the subject?  Do you think you agree or disagree?  Or do you have another interesting idea?

An Open Letter to AAFES Overseas

If I knew that someone at AAFES was going to read AND act on this letter, this is what I would write.

"Dear AAFES,

I have just come from my local PX in Belgium.  I live 30 minutes from the PX and do not travel there too often, but this is the fifth time in a month I have gone to the PX looking for simple paper to put in my computer printer.  This is the same HP printer that I used to try to buy ink for at the PX until I realized it would probably be weeks before I saw replacement ink for it.  Those shelves were routinely empty as well.  Back to the paper...keep in mind that the PX is the only local source of computer paper, as the local Belgian source only sells European-sized paper, which is about an inch or so longer than US computer paper.  This would create an extra step for me in using Belgian paper, as it would hang out of my binders either on the top or bottom, forcing me to cut that part off (I do like to be neat).

I see that your shelves were totally empty of ALL computer paper, the first four times I visited your facility.  The fifth time, there was a small ream of high quality thick HP paper, which costs almost twice what regular paper costs.  Since I had truly run out of paper at this point, I was forced to buy it or deal with the consequences of my children going on a homework strike.  I should've ordered it from the US you say?  Do you know how much paper weighs?  I guess this is also an option if I don't mind shelling out more money.

The truth is, I believe the PX should be overseas to support us....not make our lives more difficult or more expensive than shopping off-post on the economy or even through mail order.  I don't know who your overseas PX buyer is, but they apparently have not grasped that there are certain STAPLES that EVERYONE goes through in high volumes, printer paper being one of them....printer ink being another.  I won't even go into the other items that are routinely needed, as these are also items AAFES should be tracking for low quantities and should be ordering well ahead so the shelves are stocked.

If Walmart HQ can tell themselves how many bottles of water they have on the shelves of X stores right before Hurricane Katrina (and after I may add), then the PX should be able to handle the basic technology that would keep their stores stocked of staples.  If the stocker person who does the ordering has no clue what staples we need, what about a suggestion box in the front of every overseas PX, allowing customers to let AAFES know which staples they'd like to see on a regular basis?  It seems the commissary does a better job of this.  Maybe the PX guy can talk to the commissary guy and share notes.

Signed,
A Disgruntled AAFES Customer"

I for one would love to hear what AAFES has to say about this issue? I know having AAFES overseas is a privilege and not a right....I got that...but still.....your thoughts on this?

I am thankful.....

It's always around Thanksgiving, where I take the time to actually write down what I am thankful for.  It's so easy throughout the year to complain about everything around us...and why me...and feeling a little sorry for yourself now and then....we get jealous of others (yes, we do)...and sometimes I think it's just human nature to go through these ugly cycles...you know, life has its ebbs and flows, and there isn't a person in world who is constantly up.  So, with that being said, I thought I'd focus on the positive today.....what am I thankful for?

I am thankful for:

• a healthy family
• a husband who is home for Thanksgiving and not deployed
• even though we don't have a day off here for Thanksgiving, I am looking forward to sharing Thanksgiving at work with our NATO allies (they look forward to that too); I am thankful for our international friends here, and how they have enriched our lives in just five short months
• Skype and the internet in general; it makes me feel connected to family back in the US...and keeps me on top of world events and happenings
• my husband having a job; I have friends in the US who have lost their jobs; I talked to someone getting out of the military last week with no clear plan...who would be crazy enough to get out now?  In this economy?
• being so close to so many new travel destinations....shopping in London or Paris for a day is easy....going to the Christmas Market in Cologne...even easier...or just going down to the local friterie stand and eating the best french fries on the planet
• my faith...and never wavering in what I believe in; also knowing that my mother is watching over me and my family
• being a very patient person, or maybe I just let things roll off me....I hear this all the time from my friends, so there must be an inkling of truth in there somewhere
• my friends who I'm able to stay in touch with through Facebook; it's a great tool for military families who move all over but want to try to stay connected to all those friends they made (and family too)....all in one place
• whoever invented Thanksgiving, as it is my favorite holiday of the year....yes, even before Christmas
• our stuff....BUT, I do remind myself it is just stuff, especially in light of friends who lost stuff in their basement from the last Belgian flood and many former neighbors in Stuttgart who lost EVERYTHING in a major household goods warehouse fire....be thankful for whatever you have, no matter how little or much

Take this weekend to reflect on how blessed you really are.  You are important.  You are destined for something great, just possibly not right at the momeny.  Regardless of what you have, be thankful for it, and take the time to pray for those who do not....those who may have hit a lowpoint in their lives.

See you next week, and what are you thankful for?

There are NO dumb questions.....

Questions, come one and come all!  Just like in school, where you were told there are no dumb questions, there are no dumb questions here either.  If you have any questions for me, please use the "Ask Military Wife" button in the left hand column.  Here's one I had only heard asked once before.  So, I got an email:

"I've just come over to Germany, and I don't understand why there are two flush buttons on my toilet? I'm afraid to ask anyone!"


Believe it or not, I don't know if the Germans invented this or someone else over here, as many Belgian toilets have two buttons too.  The answer is very simple....it's a water-saving feature.  You use the little button for "small jobs" and the bigger one for "larger jobs"....how neat is that?  Now not all toilets will have this, but at least you know what it is!  Also, some public toilets will not have a button at all, but a lever on the floor or underneat the seat (for your foot)....look for it if you don't see anything above the toilet.

I got my blog bling!

It finally arrived in the mail a few days ago...my blog bling.   I'm so happy to wear it...thanks Michelle!  What is blog bling you say?  Well, one of my favorite blogs is Steamy Kitchen....I saw Jaden's blog bling, and I wanted one too....but I didn't want to spend too much, which I know is a big surprise to my blog readers...anyway....so I chose one of my favorite shopping sites, Etsy, and found a crafter who could make one for me with my website address on it along with "vmw" (Veteran Military Wife).  There are a few doing this stamped metal jewelry (just use the search function).  I think they were originally intended to write all the name of your kids on and to wear proudly...I guess like a badge of honor?  Now, if only I could find a blog convention to wear it to....I guess they don't have those over here in Europe?  Here's an up close photo....please ignore the double chin I especially "crafted" for this photo and didn't notice til afterwards apparently.  Do you have blog bling?

Are we wimps for pain?

Hey, I don't take a Tylenol unless I have some kind of a shit-kicker headache...and I frown on drug use if I can help it, but sometimes, it's just the knowing that there is some possible pain relief waiting in the wings so to speak, that keeps me going sometimes.  I have been DREADING going to the dentist.  No, no check-up needed...those are the easy appointments.  I have a tooth that is being overly sensitive to the point of warm water making me hit the ceiling (and not just cold or hot water).  I dug in the back hallways of my brain and realized that about 10 years ago, I had a crown put on that tooth..or something....great.   I thought I could get a few more good years out of it.  So, I've been dreading it.  Yes, our on-post dentist will see you, and they do have dental sick call for dependents here, BUT for most folks, they will send you off post for the actual work...meaning, I will have to see a Belgian dentist to get it "fixed" if it needs "fixin".

Why am I being hesitant?  Because of the pain soothing alternatives, or should I say none!  I've come to find out that Europeans have a different sense of pain than Americans...they really do. Europeans EXPECT higher level tolerances for pain.  You see that in the kids at an early age on the playground, skinning knees and rolling off playground equipment with no safety features.  No parents come running when the little one falls....just a quick glance to assess the blood and look for any bent limbs from a distance, usually from the nearest bench.  European kids are conditioned growing up that pain can be a good thing and no one even hovers over them. 

I birthed two children in a German hospital.  I was told right away not to expect an epidural or any pain relief.  Their answer to pain relief is to sit in the warm water (if it's available) or to get an enema which will supposedly speed things up (I won't even go into that one).  I knew I had to do something as an American, so I ended up teaching myself the Bradley Method.  Honestly, it worked swimmingly, and I went through two babies...or should I say they went through me...with no pain pills, epidurals, shots or anything else...perfectly natural and no issues.  Okay, so I hurdled over that challenge but only thanks to Dr. Bradley.  And that's of course with almost picture perfect labors (and fast too)...no saying what I would've done with difficulties along the way!  I might've been telling a totally different tale here.

My former neighbor's teenage daughter had to get her wisdom teeth taken out...yes, they were impacted, meaning they had to be dug out.  The German dentist scheduled her to have all four done at once!  I swear, when I had them out as a teenager in the US, I was drugged during the procedure, had only two taken out at a time AND got some mind-alternating drugs for the recovery....both times.  Not so here.  You'll be lucky if they deaden the nerve right in the vicinity, and I have plenty of German relatives who choose NO pain relief when getting a cavity filled!  Back to the neighbor's daughter...yes, she did have pain relief during her procedure, but she was sent home with nothing...no pills, nothing and had trouble handling the pain.  Her cheeks were ballooned to chipmunk size, and she was so miserable, her mother went by the medical facility on-post, and they were able to prescribe her something to make her more comfortable.  They laughed...and said that this is the norm over here, and they typically give out drugs to those who've been to the German dentist.  I am hearing similar stories here in Belgium.

So, my question to you is this....do you think this gives Americans a low threshhold for tolerance of pain....and does it translate into tolerance of anything else?  I see little ones running around without coats and people biking somewhere before they would drive, like my neighbor lady who must be close to 80 but dutifully pedals her bike up and over the bridge in all kinds of weather.  This is certainly not the easy way...in fact, it's gotta be painful, right?.....are we too pampered as Americans?  Is this going to hurt us in the long run?  You know, survival of the strongest and stuff like that.  I read somewhere that our soldiers in WWII were such good fighters and fought long and hard because they had come from Depression-era life, and that this is what made them so strong, especially when the chips were down.  Any thoughts on this or am I way out there again?  I would just like to hear another opinion or have someone tell me I've been smoking dope or am otherwise unrealistic here.

Latest search terms....

As any blogger worth their salt...you gotta see how people are getting to your blog.  Thank-you to all the blogs and other sites that mention Life Lessons!  One of these days, I'm going to have to write another post about the blogs I visit...there are some amazingly helpful ones out there...and just some darn funny ones too....would love to share them!  What always warms my heart....or just makes me smile...or what the heck?....are the search terms people google to get here.  Here are the top ones today, right at this very moment....
For the most part....they seem to be tracking....okay...I see that's a subject matter on my blog....but a few of these...makes me want to say......what in the.....?  Let me answer a few below that I don't think I answered on here anywhere

navy leave wife c section (Answer:  I unfortunately know nothing about the navy...sigh).

how to run household like the military (Answer:  I have no idea...and wouldn't want to.  Ever see the movie "The Great Santini" I think it's called?  It didn't work).

pcsing take clothes off hanger (Answer:  No, I recommend leaving them on there and having the movers put them in wardrobe boxes.  I had one move where they took our guest room closet and took everything off the hanger...it took me about THREE DAYS to straighten everything out and get it all on hangers again!)

will the military find wives a job at shape  (Answer:  No.  You are on your own in finding a job, although we have a good job assistance program at ACS, just like any other "Army post").  There aren't as many US citizen jobs as in Germany as an example.  I recommend you either try to get a job from stateside through DODEA - the schools, or the Dept of Defense or even contractor jobs....stop by ACS and use their job hunting resources to find what IS out there...or be persistent, volunteer EVERYWHERE and keep your ear to the ground to hear when someone is leaving).

toilets in belgium (Answer:  Yes, we have them.  For the most part, they are the same as in Germany...although the display shelf isn't quite as prominent.  Many toilets have TWO flush buttons, the smaller for "smaller jobs" and the larger one for "bigger jobs"....what a neat water-saving feature, huh?).

airfare navy spouse (Answer:  Not sure what this is asking?).

are there many black people at shape high school in belgium (Answer:  You'll find the  number of people from different races mirroring most military posts.  We also have a lot of darker skinned people from the Southern European countries too...I've even seen German soldiers nnd their families of color at the school).

pics of child rearing (Answer: For one millisecond I thought this said something else and was absolutely horrified!)

A Better Use for those Rubber Bracelets

http://www.silicon-bracelet.co.uk/

I don't know about you, but I have a whole drawerful of those darn rubber bracelets...you  know the thing Lance Armstrong started with those "Live Strong" bracelets....now it seems like every cause has a different colored bracelet, each with their own message stamped on there.  My neighbor's daughter actually collected the things, and she used to rotate through her stock and wear them half up both arms!  So, before I threw mine away because seriously...when are you going to wear them all...I brainstormed what else I could do with them?  I don't like to throw away or waste stuff...so I came up with this....

BEER BANDS!  Hey, why not?  They are rubber...they stretch...and they fit around different size beer bottles.  Now you can have a party, give everyone a different band...no more mixing up bottles....no more confusion as to which bottle to spit in and which to drink out of....you get the idea.  I love it when I get a new idea...how much you wanna bet though someone has already capitalized on this and is selling them as actual beer bands.  I was tempted to look...but didn't.

Shave a Few Euros off Your Electric Bill

Living in Belgium has caused me to dread our next electric bill.  Electricity is EXPENSIVE in Europe....period.  It's not unusual to pay $200-500 a month for your gas/electric bill (and not even counting your other bills such as water, phone &  internet)...we don't even have air conditioners!  So, I dug through my stash of knowledge and discovered these non-traditional tips below.  No matter where you live....glance over the list for a moment, and see if you are tracking along.  Can you believe doing these things will put a big dent in your bill?

 

Don't Preheat: Roasting turkey is a long, slow process, so no preheating is needed. Except for breads or pastries, there's usually no need to preheat the oven! 

Don't open the oven door: Resist the temptation to peek. Instead, turn on the light and look through the oven window. Opening the door lowers the temperature by as much as 25 degrees, increasing cooking time and wasting energy. 

Use other appliances: Microwaves use about 50 percent less energy than conventional ovens. The microwave is more efficient for small items such as baking yams or steaming vegetables. I also use mine to melt chocolate instead of a double boiler on the stove.

Cook items together: Bake several items together if there is enough space for heat to circulate.  Of course I'll have trouble with this one, as my Belgian oven is SO small, I can't even fit a regular size cookie pan in there!!!

Cover pots and pans: Use lids while cooking to retain heat and cook faster. 

Fridge tips: Keep doors closed as much as possible. However, keeping the door open for a longer time while taking out items is more efficient than opening and closing it several times. Don't keep fridge too cold: 37F to 40F is recommended for the fridge and 5% for the freezer. Separate freezers should be kept at 0F.  Get a thermometer to stick in your refrigerator from your local PX.

In cold climates, use unheated garages to store items such as drinks and pies to keep them cool and to allow more room in your fridge!  It's too bad we don't have a garage, but our landlord did just agree to get us a storage shed for our bikes and yard tools (I'm excited about that apparently).

 Turn off lights when you leave a room.  This is the hardest thing for my kids, especially after living in government housing, where you are not paying for it!

For overseas, don't keep transformers on or plugged in unless you are actively using it.  Transformers draw an amazing amount of electricity, even when turned off and just plugged in.

What tips do you have to share for around the house?

Recent books that refuse to leave my mind

Have you ever read a book...and couldn't put it down.....greedily turning the pages to get to the end so you can finally figure it out....and then closing it and just saying...wow...cause you just don't know what else to say or think and wishing you hadn't read it that fast cause now it's over?  That doesn't happen to me too often.  I like to read the free books on my son's Kindle (yes, I took it for myself) or the library (USAREUR library overseas has a great online catalog where you can get all kinds of books put on hold, even new bestsellers).....usually, I pick the wrong books....useless drivel I can barely turn the pages of, much less read...but every once in awhile...there is a hidden gem...that I even end up buying a lot of the time, cause I think it's that good.  And my family rolls their eyes as I try to get everyone and everyone they know to read it too.  So here are a few of those treasured books I hope you choose to encounter!


Hey, I know we all like to read different kinds of books.  My favorites are books that have some kind of mystery going on...either a who-dunnit or some big thing that needs to be solved.  In addition to that, I like books that are in some kind of historical setting.  I like authors who like to stay true to whatever time period they are writing about and who take the time to really study and get it right....what was it like for those characters in the book in their day-to-day life?  It's even better if the author weaves some historical event into the story that really did happen.  Even though they sometimes slather it on thick like peanut butter, it gets me to the next step to actually research the event myself, and many times, I am surprised that it did happen the way it was described.

Anyway, in no particular order, here are my current favorites:

• "Berlin: A Novel" by Pierre Frei.  Now I must confess again before YOU roll your eyes.  I LOVE the city of Berlin and would move there tomorrow if you told me there was a spot for me there.  There is just something magical about a city that changes more than any other city in the world.  So, I was googling Berlin and came up with this book...read the reviews, and got it from my library.  It is fiction but in a historical setting of right before and immediately after the Fall of Berlin in WWII.  The author I later found out was very true to what life was like for the average Berliner in the American zone (those in the Russian zone did not have the same tale to tell...if you want to read about that, read the anonymous diary "A Woman in Berlin: Eight Weeks in the Conquered City", which left me chilled to my bones and incredibly sad).  You'll follow snapshots into the lives of a half dozen different women...with a glimpse of their murder and then back into their lives right before the war.  Some of these women are fascinating in what they accomplished and others are everyday people that one of us might've been....all woven together and connected by this one killer.  The entire journey through this book, you are trying to figure out who is brutally killing these women.  You meet other characters along the way... those who are introduced and those you really grow to like...all there, during the occupation of Berlin.  You'll get clues along the way, and the ending was a little of a surprise for me.  It was not who I thought it was, and when you close the book, you get a true sense of the lost lives of each of those women.  I think I actually mourned one of them I thought it was such a great loss to humanity (man, do I really get into some books).  I still can't get it out of my head.

• "Eleanor's Story: An American Girl's Story in Hitler's Germany".  Okay, so this one happens to be from the same era and place, Berlin...but only because we were getting ready to go to Berlin and like a good mother, I wanted them to "experience it".  So I somehow stumbled upon it.  Any tween on up who likes to read will enjoy it.  My 11 year old was fascinated by the story....read it twice through...and then had some deep discussions with me on the subject.  What a great book!  This is the story of a young lady, again in Berlin, and what a typical and happy life she had before the war, just like many teens today with all the challenges and highlights of teenage life.  I read the book too and felt like I could pass for a Berliner in the 1930s, as the book is very descriptive of daily life.  You then become horrified and scared for Eleanor and her family during the bombing raids and destruction, get hunger pangs reading about the their food forays, standing in long lines...and are sad with all that happens to them and their extended family...and again, wow, when you finish the book.

• "The Bone Garden" by Tess Gerritson.  I wanted to cry when I finished this book, because I knew it was over, and I didn't want it to be.  I carried this book around with me for four days and tried to catch a sneak read whenever I could.  This book starts out like a typical murder mystery, old bones found in a backyard of an old home a divorced woman just buys.  Pretty soon, you are transported back to the 1830s and the life of a woman in Boston....poor Irish immigrant..and into the lives of high society and what it meant to be a doctor (men only).  My God, the state of healthcare and the process of childbirth...brutal, macabre, and it's a wonder any woman survived.  You also realize how you take things for granted in the healthcare industry today and what we know today...and didn't know then.  This was the era of doctors bleeding their patients and not washing hands, much less keeping things clean...eye opening!  It's a wonder anyone survived.  Tess then weaves these two unlikely stories together in the most intricate way, throws an amazing love interest into the mix that somehow seems to pop up in the present day, which I am still trying to digest and figure out...it's a lovely story, with some sadness thrown in from a few different directions.  I bet you'll like it too.

•   Any of the books in the Outlander series from Diana Gabaldon.  A friend introduced me to this series and thought I was nuts that I had never heard of it.  Sometimes, I can just be so sheltered.  Every woman loves a good love story, and this is it.  It spans time like nothing I've ever read before.  You are immediately intrigued by this couple's visit to a B&B in Scotland and an encounter with a ring of magical stones....time travel, but like nothing you've ever read about...and her encounters and blossoming love story with a gallant, handsome young Scottish gentlemen (yes he wears a kilt with nothing underneath!).  And the best part for me was the weaving in and out of actual historical events, that made the story seem even more real.  I can see myself actually seeing this Claire Randall in person one day...she is that real.  This'll keep you up more nights than you want to be...but do it anyway!

• Clive Cussler books.  I am probably the ONLY woman who likes his books and who will freely admit it in a public forum.  Yes, they are full of greatly impossible deeds that no human alive could ever accomplish and male egos and machoism about the size of New York City.  I mean, the heroes and heroines of this book do things that put James Bond to shame...BUT, Clive does an amazing job of taking a historical event and weaving a mystery into it.  He takes his characters to some exotic locales, and when he describes his characters, and what they drive, look like and where they live (even what they eat)...I'm sure it's all his fantasies of how he would like to be....but I would like to be that too!  His characters see and do some amazing things, and you can kind of live vicariously through them...and if you're a girl, you can discreetly read this stuff and no one will give you a hard time.  There's always an adventure in more ways than one.

Do you have any books you'd like to recommend?

Finally ventured onto Facebook....

As usual, I don't know what I am doing....but somehow, I made a page for my blog here. I'd be happy to get one friend or like, I think? I've got time on my hands today, as my landlord is very hard at work...he's singing "Sole Mio" to keep himself entertained as he paints...he's not even Italian!

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